Just Becky

Happiness

2011-11-19T08:04:00.003+01:00

You ever notice how life can change completely all at once and your priorities, mind-set, and future is altered so that it will never be the same?

I am going through one of these transitions at this time.

Recently, life has been amazing. I have a new job, I started in September, that I love. I am the Relief Society President in my ward, I have great roommates, and I got a new calling at the Provo Temple. I thought life was amazing, couldn't be better, there was so much good. Then as if to prove life can be better, that there are still more blessings to receive "he" happened. :)

October 12th I talked to an old, good friend from the mission. We had been in contact on Facebook for the week or so before, but we finally talked on the phone and things just clicked, or sparked I should say. I am NOT saying: this is it, he is the one, my search is over; I AM saying: I am happier than I have ever been, I love being around him, and I can see things continuing to go very well with him.

Maybe I will write more if there is more to write, but for now, I just wanted to document Happiness.

Do I have bad luck? OR am I bad luck?

2011-03-21T23:49:00.004+01:00

So I started writing this a while back...Sorry I didn't post it sooner:

Lately there have been car issues, I thought at first it was my sister, Kate, but the more I think about it the more I realize it may be me...this is no bueno!! Let's look at the evidence:

3 weeks ago I was asked, by Kate, to pick her and a band mate up from the airport, but I needed to go get the van from Springville first, so we could get gear too. This was late on a Sunday night-it had been a beautiful day especially for the end of February, so I was sporting flip-flops, cut-off shorts, and a light weight jacket. So I snag the van and start to hop on the freeway. There was a funky sound so I pull over and check the side door and the windows (which were all open...). Started up again and didn't even make it a half mile down the road when there was an awful sound and a jerk at the wheel-so I pull over-YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME-shredded front tire on a 15 passenger van...yeah...so it's about 11pm and there I stand on the side of the road assessing the situation-this is not good. So I said a little prayer and asked for help, there was NO way I'd be able to change it myself. Within a few minutes a police officer pulled up (never so happy to see one in my life) asking if I need help and proceeds to check around for the jack and other necessities to help change the tire. Well it just so happens one essential piece of equipment was missing...so we had to wait for the high assistance guys to come. Long story short I waited for over a half hour, for them to come, then they had difficulties getting the tire down...in the end I was freezing, Katie got a shuttle and I got to bed after 1, but took forever to fall asleep I was so cold. As I was driving home Kate thanked me for "being a pawn" as the other guy's wife was going to have to go and she would have had to take their new born, the repercussions would have been awful.
Then Kate took my car up to SLC to go to a reception and got a ticket cause my plates were expired...
Then I went down to Beaver-ish(Cove Fort) to meet up with her and another sister and our nephews to bring her back up to Provo; they ran out of gas, then half way home we got a flat tire...I was previously told at Big 'O that my spare was not useable and that I would need a new tire. I couldn't afford it at the time so I decided to wait. Well the waiting was over cause now it was too late. The Lord provided: we were not ever 100 yeards from the Scipio Exit sign close to the actual exit. We walked towards the Texaco by the exit. We got about 3/4 of the way there and the lights shut off...so we went towards the Flying J on the other side of the overpass. It was Sunday night, AGAIN, everything was closed and their tire guys just went home...we called 24 places and no one was available or 'could do anything this late on a Sunday night'-YOU ARE A 24 HOUR REPAIR PLACE?!? So we decided to spend the night in Scipio...we went back to the car, shut off the hazards, grabbed a couple essentials, and walked to the Inn, also right next to the overpass (well a guy/cop picked us up and took us the last little leg of the road). We got a room-two queen sized beds, and hunkered down for the night. In the end my spare was perfectly fine, a little worn but useable, I got a queen sized bed to myself, got to sleep on a Monday morning :D, and got a continental breakfast, so I shouldn't complain.

Though there were these car trials, I really feel like the Lord blessed us and things turned out for the better. He provides.

Pondering

2011-03-03T02:48:00.003+01:00

Randomly this morning I started to ponder about stuff and for some reason went off on a tangent about cancer...I know-very weird! But not just cancer in general, but if I had it. I thought about who would I have with me when I found out-I mean tomorrow, or next week, it would have to be someone close? Who would I call first? How would I react? Who would I want by my bedside when I wake up from surgery? Who would I want to hear it from me and not on Facebook or through someone else? I know these are probably odd thoughts and a little depressing, but instead of depressing it made me realize there are people I love more than I thought I did. As I pondered there were a few people I was surprised to realize I would want there to be my shoulder to cry on, to be the first face I saw when I opened my eyes, to know that I needed them and I want them in my life. As I thought, I considered writing emails to each of these individuals to first, read this blog then read the email, to tell them how much I care about them and how I shouldn't have to wait to be dying to reach out and renew a friendship.

There was one person I wanted to mention, the person I would have come with me to find out. Lately our friendship has grown closer and I have needed this individual so much more than they know. It is a friendship we have had to work to have and I feel like we have both grown so much. I don't know if they will read this, but I just wanted to say that my sister Katie would be the one that I would want to be there when I found out. She is the initial shoulder I would cry on and the one holding my hand while I told my close friends. She would be the one helping me through it all. This surprised me, but now that I think about it, it doesn't. She has known me all but 14 months of my life and though we have had our rough times I love her. She tells me things that are hard to say and harder to hear, but I am grateful she is close.
I would wish my best friend was there, but I would hope she came soon after.

Another one I want to share, I won't share the name, is the person I want by my bedside (besides my Mom). I care very much for this person. They are going through some really hard times and I hurt for them. I love them, I realized this today. I love them and want them to be the one to hold my hand through the hardest times. I hope our friendship will endure this hard time and things will work out. Only time and the Lord will tell.

I know these are not thoughts every day people have, but it is interesting who your brain logically will choose. And that is how it worked; my brain chose these people, I didn't create a list and deduct who I wanted, it was just emotionally logical.

If you are reading this I hope you know that I love you and hope that you know I am grateful for your part in my life.

"Run mad as often as you choose, but do not faint..."

2011-02-15T16:34:00.019+01:00

Jane Austin is one of the most celebrated female authors. I can't explain why, but as I started my blog post today this quote from her came into mind: Run mad as often as you choose, but do not faint. As I thought of this I started to think about it in relation to my life: I don't think that I 'run mad'...But I do have fun, I enjoy life, others looking-in (with a different perspective) may see my activities and view me as mad. I choose to 'run mad', to enjoy life and the company of others, to laugh and explore, to be daring and spontaneous, to make decisions that are hard to make and may seem mad to the unknowing. I guess I do run mad, as often as I choose, but I 'do not faint'. As odd as this may sound, this is my life and, with the gospel as a constant foundation, I am happy.

Changes have happened in my life lately, changes that were difficult, but I feel I can smile about. Meaning I am okay with them to the extent that I know they will make me happy. One of these changes is my hair (see picture). I have wanted to go dark again for over a year and I finally just did it! Though blondes may "have more fun", be "preferred" by men, and considered a bombshell, I like dark hair, I think it's...'dark and mysterious'. And oddly enough I have gotten more attention from guys with this color, gotta love that! (It may be that I am single again too...but let's just say it's the new color.)

I am happy.

So to continue with the randomness of me I want to write a poem...Or something, I guess I just want to write, to write. In writing this poem (if you can call it that) I started with the last line, trying to think of a title, and worked my way up, seeing how I want it to arrive there, I've never done this before, and it wasn't on purpose, it's just how it was born.

The Misunderstanding of an Empty Heart:
i am happy,
indescribable joy,
though shattered hopes returned
finally healing the unsealable wound,
through comfort by heaven and mortal angels,
and yet...
it still aches with time now lost,
crushed by renewed disappointment,
drained from anguish and torture of love
and in the end no one can conceive
the misunderstanding of an empty heart.

Wow, I wasn't expecting that...guess that's just how I feel, though the first couple lines (the last of which I wrote) are the most accurate: happiness, joy. And though I feel my heart is empty, it is slowly being filled by the Lord and my friends. I cannot replace love with friendship, but the love of a friend will suffice until I am able to find another love.

...again...not what I intended, this was supposed to be light-hearted, but alas I have run away with my words again.

Healing Art

2010-12-16T22:21:00.001+01:00

This is the art piece I did a while back and never posted, I apologize the picture is so dark.

Painting

2010-11-04T17:33:00.002+01:00

Some people don't know that I used to be into art...I know, weird huh? I used to be into it so much it was my first major, well Art Education. My first two years of college were focused on art classes-I loved it! Then somehow going to Italy for a year and a half made me lose my passion for it...I know-weird right?!? Well I have since taken a sculpting class and loved it, but just didn't feel as passionate about it.

Well, we are having another Evening of Fine Arts next Friday. Last year I had this wonderful idea for an art project...I got about 1/8 of the way in and realized it was a lot more ambitious of a project than I thought it to be, and quit. I ended up displaying a photograph I took in Italy. This year however I was thinking something a little more simple. I thought of some ideas, flowers...boring! a heart...hmmm-but I need to make it mean something, make it mine...this idea came to me a week ago and right away I started to do sketches, lots of notes and ideas, lots of scribbling legible only to me. That night I sketched it out on the "canvas", this cheapy thing I bought at Walmart, and by Saturday I had already put paint on it too... I have completed the background and continued on to the heart, I am about half way done and am loving it. It is mine, my heart, it is a bit more abstract than other art, but you can obviously tell what it is. There is so much symbolism to it, for me at least. I hope others will see at least a part of what I see, though I know it will not affect them as it does me-it is my soul.

I will take a picture and post it on here as soon as I am finished...I am nervous, excited, and anxious to display this piece of me...

Wish me luck! :)

Trials & Miracles

2010-10-22T16:52:00.009+02:00

The are moments in life when trials come, not consequences to anything you have done but trials, that have nothing to do with anything.

Two weeks ago this was my life, and it is at moments, days, weeks, like that when you realize how much the Lord opens the windows, doors, and cargo hatches of heaven and drowns you in his mercy and love.

It seemed everything that could go wrong, did. Someone hacked my gmail account, which has my life from the past five years in it. Then used my PayPal account, spending about $250, which was my rent money. The day before my phone was shut off, due to my new phone arriving in Colorado (it was off for two days), I also started my period that day, which if you're a woman you know that is a trial enough (though that may be more of a consequence...that is up to discussion). The day I found out about the hacking I had a severe allergy attack, not hospital visit severe, but sneezing more than usual (which is A LOT), runny nose, coughing, etc. The day after my new phones "alarm only" setting didn't work and my alarm didn't go off, I woke up as my roommate got home from her job at 8:16m-yeah, I was supposed to be to work at 8... This all happened days after the most amazing General Conference ever! Due to the hacking and use of my account I had to freeze my accounts, PayPal, bank, shred my debit card, and have no access to my money...

Now for the blessings. When I woke up with wicked cramps and an allergy attack I almost called into work, however the Lord helped me decide I still needed to go in. Had I not gone in I wouldn't have realized someone hacked my account and they could have done so much more damage than they did. Since I caught it so early I was able to contact my bank and PayPal and cancel the purchases and get the money refunded to my account fairly quickly. Before work I stopped and got Ibuprofen, which I needed and wouldn't have been able to get had I waited as I closed my account. Throughout the next week of no money we had a ward activity, we over estimated the amount of food needed, we got subs, I had food for the rest of the week, right after I ran out of Ramen. I had been feeling for a while that I should get a new email address, for business and professional reasons, cause for some reason "red rooster" in Italian just isn't professional enough... Also, I have had my Credit Union account since before my mission. It is located in Colorado and is difficult to access via ATM and I have to go to another Credit Union here to do anything. So I thought a while ago that I should move things over, which I have since done. The day after I found out about the hack, which actually happened the night before I realized it, I was able to get back into my gmail account and access my PayPal. Through there I changed EVERYTHING and realized that my full account information was not given, but encrypted. I was then able to re-open my account and access my funds, however this realization didn't come till later. I closed my PayPal account, but in case. Also, PayPal sends a confirmation to your email when purchases are made. Well the individual who hacked me forwarded his confirmation email to himself with his address and stuff, so I was able to give that information to PayPal. Who knows if it's right or even him, but it made me feel better.

The Sunday after it all happened I felt horrible and on the verge of tears the whole day. While discussing with some friends and as well as spending time to ponder I realized this has happened on many occasions after a terrible day or week. I came to the realization that is the Lord healing the wounds. My roommate even used the example of Eustace from the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. At one point he is turned into a dragon because of his greedy, selfish nature, after humbling himself, and proving he was changed he had a dream/vision where Aslin comes and rips off his scales, literally claws them off. It is a beautifully, painful experience and in the end he is clean and whole and healed. I have realized that is what spiritual experiences after hurt, hardships, and heartache do; they tear the "spiritual build-up" away and leave you whole again.

Another spiritual epiphany I had recently was in Relief Society this last week. We were talking about Faith. And the teacher talked about how there is a triangle of things we need to do to increase our faith. They were the normal "Sunday School" answers, but I realized why. Over the last couple of months I have been pondering on what I can do to "always remember [Him] and have [His] spirit with [me]" and truly keep my baptismal covenant. Well I realized on Sunday that that's how we do it! We always remember Him and have His spirit with us if we do the little things; i.e. read our scriptures, pray, and keep the commandments. This is why these things are SO important. It is how we partake of the atonement and keep ourselves clean.

I guess I just wanted to share this with all of you and write it down for whoever may need to hear it. The Lord has truly blessed me.

I Found IT!!!

2010-09-21T20:10:00.003+02:00

Having graduated in Italian I had many opportunities to write in the beautiful language. On one such occasion I was asked to write a short fantasy story. Randomly about a week ago I remembered this story and wanted to post it, of course translating it first, as many of you don't speak Italian, however I have posted both the English translation (first) and the original Italian (second). Enjoy! :)

The Day I Died
Dreams aren’t real, right? In fact, I’ve always believed, ever since I was a little child, that if you didn’t tell someone your nightmares they’d come true. This has become one of my traditions, and I follow it to the “T”. But, haven’t you ever woken up still feeling nervous, afraid, and paranoid, even if you don’t remember what you were dreaming about? So, that day, when you forget to tell a friend the nightmare, what will happen? Do you know? I do. It happened the day I was murdered.
A week ago I woke up sweating, trembling with fear. My roommate was snoring in the bed next to mine, I didn’t want to disturb him, what would he say? I am a grown man and I had a nightmare, how embarrassing. I stayed like that, with too much fear to get out of bed and too much pride to ask for comfort. I was blocked, there in bed, in shock, baby. I closed my eyes, immediately the image reappeared in the darkness, “Enough!” I told myself, while popping open my eyes, I forced myself out of bed and ran into the bathroom to be in the light and escape the blackness of my room. I arrived with no obstacles and immediately turned on the light while breathing deeply, trying to calm my nerves; it didn’t work extremely well, but I tried. I was still afraid but was now far away from the warmth of my bed, “I’m so stupid!” I said to myself. At least I could think, in the light I could think. I tried again to close my eyes, but my mind was again invaded with the face of the man. I couldn’t hold them shut for more than six seconds, before I had to open them again, this is not good.
I started to laugh; it may have been at this point when my mind left my body, but I don’t remember well, I only remember that the laughs grew until the moment my roommate came to the bathroom door, he wasn’t laughing. “Hey, moron”, he greeted me; “if you don’t stop laughing I’m gonna to kill you”. With this same glare he went back to bed and began to snore again shortly after. Then the silence that only exists in horror movies followed. I found my mind. I turned off the light. Courage. I returned to my bed and counted to ten before closing my eyes. Darkness. But no man. I won.
The next morning I approached my roommate, sat down and tried to explain the night before, he wouldn’t hear to me. I couldn’t explain myself well, or at all for that matter. I decided to leave quickly, before he decided to show me how mad he really was. The sun was shining, the flowers were displaying their colors, and the birds were singing again, but there was a sensation in the air that left me feeling empty. I walked very slowly trying to understand why I felt the way I did. Before I realized what was going on my legs began to run, my thoughts worked more slowly, and I’m sure my face looked even more surprised.
The feelings from the previous night returned and my mind remembered; this was my dream. The car. On my back. On the ground. Eyes closed. I was dying. But I still had enough strength to open my eyes one more time to look around. A face, that face, THE FACE, a man looked at me from above, what confusion. Before the final darkness took me I could hear him say, “Why…why…did you run in front of my car?”

Il Giorno che Sono Morto
Sono falsi i sogni, vero? Infatti, credo dall'infanzia se non racconti un incubo tuo a qualcuno si avverrà. È una tradizione mia, e la seguo alla lettera. Ma, non è successo anche a te che quando ti svegli ti senti ancora nervoso, la paura e la paranoia, anche se non ti ricordi di che cosa stavi sognando? Quindi, quel giorno, quando ti dimentichi di dire ad un amico l'incubo, cosa succederà? Lo sai? Io sì. È successo il giorno che sono stato ucciso.
Una settimana fa mi sono svegliato tutto sudato, tremando dalla paura. Il mio collega di stanza stava russando nel letto acconto a me, non ho voluto disturbarlo, che mi avrebbe detto? Sono un uomo adulto e ho avuto un incubo, che vergogna. Sono rimasto così, con troppa paura da potermi alzare dal letto e troppo orgoglio per chiedere conforto al amico. Ero bloccato, lì sul letto, scioccato, bambino. Ho chiuso gli occhi, subito l'immagine è apparsa nelle tenebre, "basta", mi sono detto, mentre aprivo gli occhi velocemente, e mi sono alzato dal letto e sono corso in bagno per poter prendere un po' di luce e scappare dalle tenebre della stanza. Sono arrivato senza nessun ostacolo e ho acceso la luce subito mentre respiravo profondamente per potermi calmare, non ha funzionato molto bene, pero' ci ho provato. Avevo ancora paura ma all'ora stavo lontano dal calore del letto, "Ma che sei stupido!" mi sono ditto. Ma almeno potevo pensare, nella luce potevo pensare. Ho provato di nuovo a chiudere gli occhi ma mi veniva in mente di nuovo la faccia dell'uomo. Non ho potuto tenerli per più di sei secondi prima di aprirli di nuovo, questo non va bene.
Ho cominciato a ridere; forse è stato a questo punto quando la mente è andata via dal corpo ma non mi ricordo bene, ricordo solo che le risate aumentavano fino al momento in cui il mio collega di stanza è arrivato alla porta del bagno, lui non stava ridendo. "Ehi, scemo", mi ha salutato, "se non smetti di ridere ti spacco la faccia". Con lo stesso sguardo è ritornato a letto e cominciava a russare in poco tempo. C’era un silenzio come un film dell’orrore che seguiva. Ho ritrovato la mente, e ho spento la luce. Coraggio. Sono ritornato pure io a letto e ho contato fino a dieci prima di chiudere gli occhi. Le tenebre. L'uomo non c'era. Ho vinto io.
La mattina dopo mi sono seduto a parlare con il mio collega ma lui non mi voleva parlare, proprio non mi dava ascolto. Non ho potuto spiegarmi bene, o per niente infatti. Ho deciso d'uscire di casa subito, prima che mi mostrasse la sua ovvia rabbia. Il sole brillava, i fiori mostravano i loro colori, e gli uccellini cantavano ancora, ma c'era un sentimento nell’aria che mi ha lasciato un po' vuoto. Ho camminato molto lentamente per poter scoprire il perche' di questo sentimento. Poi le mie gambe hanno cominciato a correre, i pensieri erano cosi piu’ lenti, che sicuramente avevo una faccia tutta sopresa.
Il sentimento della notte prima è tornato e la mente si è ricordata, quest’era il mio sogno. La macchina. Sulla schiena, sulla terra. Gli occhi chiusi. Stavo morendo. Ho sentito di aver abbastanza forza da poter aprire gli occhi una volta di più per guardarmi in torno. Una faccia, quella faccia, LA FACCIA, l’uomo mi guardava dall’alto, tutto confuso. Prima che le tenebre mi hanno preso gli ho sentito dire, “Perché…perché…hai corso di fronte la mia macchina?”

Many Handwritings of My Personality

2010-08-25T00:41:00.000+02:00

Odd title I know, it all started in a Relief Society meeting when I volunteered to write on the board. Over the course of that brief 7-10 minutes taking notes on that blackboard I had approximately 5-7 different styles of handwriting I used. This started me thinking and I realized I am like my different hand writing styles. I am a versatile individual just as each word, it seemed to changed, so do I to adapt to my situation in life, social groups, and work place. My music of interest at any given time is even altered by the man that I am interested in at the time.

This may turn into rambling, but I've been thinking lately that there are so many facets to me that I don't explore or allow to breathe very often...I used to be an Art Major (many people don't know that) and I haven't done art work in quite some time. I used to love to write, this seems to be my only outlet...I would write poetry, nothing noteworthy of course, not even comprehensible to others at times, and many times just thoughts, run together. I love to sing, this I do regularly, but usually in the shower or in my car when I'm alone, and of course at church. Just writing this and reminiscing makes my heart happy. I feel the desire to write a poem...I think I shall. Don't judge me, I only have 3 Followers, so I realize there are few that will read this, but that is why I write-it's mainly for me.

Simplistic Chaos
i don't understand me
sometimes i feel like i can never be the person i am meant to be
sometimes the world feels too much, too intelligent, too full of itself.
sometimes i wonder how i'll ever be happy
i mean really happy
i am happy
i like me, and yet there are moments when i don't.
life is good
though boring, at times, empty almost
void of meaningful connections
void of important activities
just void.
people like me
they don't really know why
i don't really know why.
they praise me, they admire me
i blush, i try not to see what they see
pride is my fear.
i feel simple
complex
deep and yet shallow
opinionated with no opinions in particular.
and in the end,
just becky

Ok, so that was random...and in the end, not much of a poem at all, but it's me. I'll write more, I feel better about that!

MELANOMiC underGROUND: DANCE FUNdraiser!!

2010-07-14T16:31:00.004+02:00

Friday, July 9th we threw our first, of hopefully many, fundraiser dance party. Russell Wilson, Justin Ahlmann, and I were the ones in charge and everything just fell together. We held it in the underground parking lot of the Old Academy apartment complex. Things seemed a bit rocky at first, but the Lord provided over and over again to get this underway and to make it all happen. Russell had the idea, I know both him and Justin and so with their brilliant minds and me helping out here and there it all came together. We had the venue, the day, the time, and ideas, but the week before and the week of is when it all came together. We finally found a DJ that was willing to do it, and for free, and was good! Russell got some orange construction fencing, which made for a sweet ambiance, the black lights looked sweet and the DJ had a friend who did lights so the black light spray paint (which was WAY hard to find) was no longer needed, and printed and passed out over 1600 fliers in less than a week. In the end: we started a little late, had the cops called on us twice, the sno-cone truck didn't do that well, a circuit blew at about 11:30, we had to shut it down early, and we raised over $450!!! Definitely a success!!! Next time will be even better now that we know some quirks we may encounter.

The Many Happenings of Becky Fitches

2010-06-15T16:49:00.006+02:00

The Hardy (Mom's side) Family Reunion is approaching fast and the entries for the Hardy Herald are due today. I thought I'd go ahead and share my subscription with all of you! ENJOY!

Looking back at the last five years is bit of a bittersweet trip down memory lane. The most memorable are returning home from my mission to Milan, Italy, nannying in Düsseldorf, Germany, and graduating with my Bachelors in Italian from BYU. Other random happenings have been a number of jobs, men, and friends that I will never forget and some I wish I could.

Though many tears have been shed over this half a decade there have been some moments to laugh at and since I love telling stories let me share my favorite with you!

I’ve been blessed to be able to go back to Italy a few times since I’ve been home, on the second occasion I was with my sister Debbie. One of the days we spent in gorgeous, romantic Venice. Since it was wintertime we had to duck into a shop to escape the rain for a while, but then carried on our way to St. Mark’s cathedral. Unable to carry purses/bags into the basilica we took turns going through the cathedral and after having viewed the awesome interior we met up in the square. Anyone who has traveled to a large city know that in larger plazas or squares such as this there are rats of the sky, also known as pigeons, that hop across the vast cement field; this square is no different from any other such plaza. Having served in Italy as a missionary I had always wanted to run through the pigeons and see them fly, like in the movies, but never felt it went under the direction of “quiet dignity”. As I was no longer a missionary I felt I could forgo quiet dignity to accomplish this desire. Debbie, still holding my belongs, was ready with the camera to document this event. So I started. I ran a pace then realized the pigeons did not fly away and create a cool affect at all, but were so accustomed to people that they slightly hopped to the right or left to avoid my feet but were not inclined to take flight. Quite annoyed and determined to succeed I decided to pick up speed, at this same moment I noticed a more condensed group of the filthy creatures to my left and so changed course. Now, I did not remember at this moment that it had recently rained or that pigeon droppings when wet were probably more slippery than usual. The scene to follow would have been normal if I were a baseball player sliding into home plate, however that was not the intention and down I went. The next couple minutes are still vivid in my mind and to this day I still don’t know if more people were staring at the girl who fell in the pigeon poo or her sister across the plaza who was keeled over laughing hysterically. It seems that Debbie had snapped a shot of me running, looked down to inspect her work and looked up at the most opportune moment to see the dreadful slide. An old Italian man close by made sure I was okay, and through my own laughter I was able to explain that I was fine. Yes, I was fine, however my beautiful Italian coat was now covered in pigeon droppings and even after paying two euro to use a bathroom to wash myself off I still reeked and was thoroughly embarrassed, though not enough to not have recorded the incident. It was definitely a day to remember forever.

Hope you enjoyed that!

Also, currently I am still living in Provo, UT, and working full time at a jewelry store online called e-weddingbands.com. I work a lot, play even more, date less, and just love life! J

MELANOMiC underGROUND :: DANCE FUNdraiser

2010-06-14T23:46:00.002+02:00

Start Time:	Friday, July 9, 2010 at 9:00pm
End Time:	Saturday, July 10, 2010 at 1:00am
Location:	Old Academy
Street:	47 East 600 North
City/Town:	Provo, UT

do you have TWO [2] WHOLE dollars? ... I got five bucks that says you don’t.

PROVE ME WRONG --> :: frinight :: july 9th 2010 ::

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a [charity] DANCE PARTY with 100% or your 200 cents/ 2 dollars / 8 quarters / etc DONATED to ==The Keith McDermott Foundation== This official Non-Profit Organization was founded with the purpose of raising awareness, and furthering research for Melanoma Skin Cancer… Do your OWN research --> { http://melanomacancerresearch.com/ }

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* bring your donation [$2 minimum] to

* OLD ACADEMY’S underGROUND parking lot for nothing less than

* a bangin DANCE PARTY with a live

* DJ tba

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√ reserve the date! 07.09.2010 [09.july.2010] july 9th, 2010 [the ninth of july, two-thousand ten] however u like it.

√ invite EVERYONE to this facebook EVENT! Tell EVERYONE you know!!!

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Sponsored by Thursday Club

more info on The Keith McDermott Foundation --> http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Keith-McDermott-Foundation-for-Melanoma-Cancer-Research-Inc/107617205933763

http://melanomacancerresearch.com/

more INFO on melanoma -->
https://health.google.com/health/ref/Melanoma

Decisions, decisions, decisions...

2010-05-17T23:35:00.010+02:00

Well it seems that I have come to yet another cross-roads in my life and decisions are to be made; this is always a growing experience and it never goes exactly how I thought it would or should or whatever, but in the end I realize there's a reason I am where I am, and doing what I am. After a recent disappointment in love I feel my options opened up again I need to decide where the Lord wants me to be.

To give you an insight into my mind here are some of the options and thoughts I've had.
1. Stay here. As I have been wanting to leave Utah since I graduated almost a year ago this option is not very appealing, and yet I know that I am supposed to be here now, I just don't know if my work here is done, or if there is more work for me to do. One appealing factor about staying in Utah is there is a much larger social scene as well as male options for the future man for me. The job market here is not pleasant and my current employment is not a long term career.
Within this option there are other options as well, as far as different jobs, places to live, etc.
2. Arizona? Just over a year ago as I was approaching graduation the thought of Arizona came into mind and I was almost certain that was where I was to go, until a job and a man got in the way...things changed and I knew I was supposed to be here. Now as neither of these "distractions" are as pertinent as they once were (or don't exist at all) I feel free to proceed as before. The single scene in Arizona is much like Provo (so I've heard), the job market is better than here and as my sister Leah lives there with her family (and my other sister Abbie just moved out, therefore rendering a room vacant) I would have a place to stay until I got settled. This is definitely a reoccurring thought in my mind.

I was just about to write that I've looked for jobs in both places to check out my job options, but I realized that I haven't searched too hard in Utah...so I will start searching more fervently in both places and see what the Lord has in mind...I want to have a job before I decide to up and move to Arizona or a better job if I stay here. There's a lot to decide.

This being said, a man entering my life would change this all. Right now, as I am on my own, I will decide the best I can.

Pray for me.

Cougar Theme Song: Just for Fun (Before the Deep Stuff :))

2010-03-26T19:36:00.004+01:00

Our ward had an Untalent Show a couple weeks ago and I had an idea that had come to me a while back that I put into action... a "cougar" theme song. First of all, the urban definition of cougar is:
Noun: A woman between 30 and 50 years old who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male.
Examples: Millions of them. More famously, Demi and Ashton, Naomi Watts and Heath Ledger, Joan Collins and her hubby, Cameron and Justin, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins.

So I re-wrote the song 16 Going on 17 from Sound of Music to make my own little version. I sang the duet with a guy from my ward. Hopefully I'll get a picture up for you some time. :) ENJOY!

COUGAR THEME SONG

Me: You wait little boy
on an empty stage
for fate to turn the light on
Your life little boy
is an empty page
that I will want to write on!

Andrew: To write on

Andrew: I am 21 going on 22
recently off the mish
sellers of candies
drinkers of brandies
what do I know of this
I am 21 going on 22
I know that I'm naive
Sisters, I mean, Ladies I meet may tell me I'm sweet
and I'll let them all believe
Willingly unprepared am I
to face a world of women
timid and shy and ready am I
of things beyond my ken
I need someone
older and wiser
to be my sugar baby
she looks 24 going on 25
She'll provide for me!
(dream sequence[not my idea] and a little dance number by Andy)
Me: You are 21 going on 22
Baby it's time to think
better beware
be canny and careful
baby you're on the brink
you are 21 going on 22
ladies will fall in line
eager teenagers
fresh out of high school
will obviously think you're fine.
totally unprepared are you
to face a world of women
timid and shy and scared are you
of things beyond your ken
you need someone
older and wiser
telling you what to do
I am 34 going on 35
I'll take care of you

Duet: Me: I'll take care of you
Andrew: She'll provide for me

Thursday Club & Miracle Journal

2010-03-26T17:43:00.007+01:00

Angels are interesting things. You go through times in your life where you are discouraged, you feel like nothing is going right, you don't even know if the Lord is pleased with you, then all of a sudden you have an angel. They've been there the whole time, the shine of their spirit just went unnoticed for a while. I have had one of these experiences, one of these angels appear in my life.

That may seem a bit dramatic and yet it's true.

I recently have been bogged down with everything that's going on and was neglecting some things in my life that needed more attention. One of the things was Thursday Club, as you can see by the title of this post... it wasn't really happening, I felt obligated to do other things, and yet I know it was inspiration to start this group in the first place. Well I received an email from this angel suggesting that he start his own Thursday activity, in jest of course. I responded with the usual rebuttal and then nothing, I then realized that instead of competing I needed his help. He was more than excited and in turn re-lit the desire and motivation to proceed forward with this revelation. He has truly been an angel in my life these past couple weeks in taking charge, with ideas, with counseling together, it's been great. He is a dear friend and I am grateful for him.

Another thing he has brought into my life is a new friend, his roommate. He is one of the kindest, unselfish people I know. I am still getting to know him, but am very impressed thus far. He too has helped out with Thursday Club, in addition to our new found friendship. I am grateful for him as well.

In institute about a week ago, my instructor mentioned something I have heard spoken of before and yet never took the initiative to do. A Miracle Journal. So I finally listened to the prompting to start one. Every day now before I go to bed I write in a journal at least one miracle of the day. Sometimes I guess they are more of a tender mercy than a miracle, and yet aren't most miracles just that, a tender mercy from the Lord? It has been so wonderful, I forgot how much I enjoyed writing- it's such a wonderful stress release right before bed. And it's nice because my roommate is doing it with me too, so we remind each other.

Though there are trials that still stress me out, I feel the Lord is ever so mindful of me and is giving me angels and spiritual experiences enough to give me strength to get through it.

The Lord Provides!

To the void...

2010-02-08T21:38:00.002+01:00

I don't know if anyone will read this or if anyone even checks this, but I guess I just needed to write. Do you ever have those days where you feel sick to your stomach cause you did something that you know will hurt someone or make them lose their trust in you and you feel like a horrible person? Well I'm having one of those days. Some times I know I'm such a good person and trying to do the right thing and be what/who Heavenly Father wants me to, but then there's other times I mess up and feel like I'm so far from being anywhere He wants me to be...I guess this is one of those days. Especially because those days are usually days that I realize that I messed up or made someone else's life's journey a little more difficult just because of my stupidity or human nature. It's the worst feeling ever...I pray I learn from experiences like these and they become fewer and far between. At least it's been a while since I've had one, but I just need to remember this feeling and know that I hate it so much and really feel awful...
So I guess to the void of anyone who is reading this I'm sorry for anything I have ever done to offend you make life harder for you.

New Year's Eve, New Year, 10 Years, 5 Years, & New Events!!

2010-01-19T17:40:00.010+01:00

Wow, a lot has happened. To the left you will see one of my best friends, Bryan Densley, and I at the AWESOME New Year's Eve party some friends and I threw. Just to clarify we are drinking Root Beer!! We were able to stay at a friends house as they were out of town. A bunch of us went dancing while some stayed back and played Rock Band, which ended up going on for about 6 hours. We toasted with Martinelli's and lemonade, as well as Root Beer as you can see! ;) The next morning we looked like a bunch of drunks as we only got about 3 hours of sleep and there was a counter full of empty bottles. We brought in the new year with an amazing breakfast of eggs, pancakes, bacon, and orange juice. Overall it was a great party!!

With this new year (also with the previous post you may have seen) new things are taking place. I know it is a little weird to make a new year's resolution to do things that are kind of out of your hands, but my new year's resolution is not only that I will be moving come August, but also that I am getting married... I know, I know... it's not just a resolution, it's more like inspiration as well. I feel strongly that this will be the year. The Lord has been preparing me for quite some time, as well as this man for me. To answer questions: no, I am not currently dating anyone. No, I do not know when. Yes, I know it sounds crazy. And yes, you are invited! :)

2010 has a lot of mile stones...such as I have been graduated for 10 years come May...
I have to admit that makes me feel a bit old... but these past 10 years have been amazing. There have been lows, real lows and the highest highs of my life. I expect that the next ten will be even better.
Another, more significant, mile stone is that January 21st, 2010, was my 5 year mark after my mission. That is more crazy to me then the graduation thing! As I look back on these past 5 years a lot has happened...I have graduated, gone to back to Europe 3 times, as well as traveled within the states, and grown a lot. I have kept up my Italian, thankfully, and just enjoy life.

Lastly, but NOT least important, I started my own business!! I signed up under my parents a week ago and am loving it! It's so exciting and just makes sense. Soon I'll have a couple of my friends signed up and will be working hard to make sure I help as many people as I can. It's great to be involved in a company that is so smart and simple. Everyone uses the product every day-might as well get paid for doing it!!

Come August

2009-12-31T00:52:00.004+01:00

Well, I just got back from Christmas in Colorado and missing the family already, however it's nice not to feel like a lazy bum any more. So the title of this blog is a bit weird, but let me explain. Over the break I realized I need to move on, well just move. My housing contract is up in August and so I'm here till then. I know it's kinda crazy...I don't know where I'm going but I just know if there's no one keeping me here then I'm moving away from here. The thought of California has come to mind-my grandma's out there so there's options. Also, I've wanted to live out East in the New England area for a while now...so who knows, I just need to find a place to stay and a nice paying job, preferably one in my field-a High School Italian teacher...I WANT TO TEACH SO BAD!!!
So I guess I just wanted to put this in writing to make sure I stick to it. Those that I have told so far aren't too happy...but it's what I need to do.

Janice

2009-11-19T00:56:00.003+01:00

Thursday Club is going smoothly and as mentioned in my last blog we were able to go visit a friend. Her name is Janice. The plan was to meet at 6:30, arrive before 7 and play games with her and others. Well there was a mix up with the timing and when we got there everyone had already gone and so we just went to a side area and played games with the people who came. Residence would walk by every now and then but didn't know the games we were playing so they would just walk on. It was kind of sad at first, but then Janice showed up. Let me describe her to you; she's a 72 year old firecracker, she has short spikey white hair and dresses like a hip old lady (first impression). So we rearrange the tables so we can all play Phase 10, and she starts to explain, in a very serious manner, that she has a condition diagnosed by her doctor that something medically bad will happen to her if she loses-it took a few of us a while to realize she was just kidding. The whole evening was like this-she tried to cheat the whole time, which was ok because we were on the same team, and we would have won even if we didn't cheat!! ;) We laughed the whole evening, then at then end we walked her to her apartment and laughed some more. Then I mentioned to her for the second time that I want to be like her when I grow-up to which she replied "No you don't, I have bowel problems. It hurts to poop!" Oh my gosh, I was laughing SO hard. Another wonderful moment with Janice was as she tried on her glasses for us. First I must describe these spectacles-the only way I can is to say they looked like the eye area of a welders mask, with the continued plastic strap all away around the back to hold them snug against her head. So as she put them on she leaned against the wall and licked her teeth and lip. This time we all roared laughing-it was seriously one of the funniest things ever! I plan on going back soon to see her and just enjoy her company. Also, she is looking for another husband ;) so if anyone knows of a single 90 man with spunk looking for a special lady, let me know!!

Thursday Club

2009-11-10T19:49:00.005+01:00

Inspiration hit last week and it's pretty well underway.
Here's the gist:
"Every Thursday (expect holidays) we'll meet up and do something. Usually it will be something service oriented. On occasion we'll have dinner together, do a fun activity, or whatever. I'll post every week what we'll be doing, don't feel obligated to come every week!!"
Last week was our first "outing" and a guy from my ward and I went and raked leaves at an elderly ladies home. This week we're probably going to visit a friend of a couple of the girls in ward at the retirement home she is at. Next week I think we'll go to Primary Children's Hospital. I feel like I have some meaning back in my life as I try to serve others. I know it's just little things we are doing, but I think that those that participate are able to feel better as well. Please give me ideas if you can think of any-ALSO-if you have any contact information about more service projects, that'd be great!!

Graduation and the after life

2009-10-28T17:03:00.005+01:00

Just Becky, new name for a new blog!

Let's get everyone up to speed.

I'm back in Provo, I graduated from BYU (finally) with a bachelors in Italian and a minor in Music. I'm working full time at an online jewelry store called e-weddingbands.com (check it out).

Goal: get married. Become a high school Italian teacher.

So, from here on out I'll go ahead and update this blog every now and then to keep anyone posted who cares. :)

My Typical Day

2008-04-10T16:17:00.003+02:00

So I have had a number of questions about what I do, or what is a typical day in my life as an au pair for the Alberty family. So here it is. I wake at about 7 every morning and get ready for the day. Then if Silke (the mom) is working from the office at home I need to be upstairs at about 7:30 to have breakfast with the family. If she won't be home I am upstairs by 7:15 ish to get out the breakfast fixings, let the dogs out, feed them, pack the kids lunches and make sure all is ready. Then the kids are off to school by about 8-8:15 and I clear the breakfast table and clean the kitchen. I take out the bio-trash and the plastic and regular trash if they're full, put the paper trash downstairs, re-fill the bag with all the drinks, re-fill the container with the dog food and start the dishwasher. Then I move into the living room, I clear up the tray from the previous nights tea and snack, fluff the couch, wipe off the table and clean-up anything that's laying around. I then move upstairs and make the beds and clean up the rooms, if there are clothes lying around or whatever. I then walk the dogs, for about 1/2 hour, either a walk or a bike ride. Then if there are clean clothes I go downstairs and iron, with lots of steam...I iron EVERYTHING, you name it I iron it, seriously! Then I just help out with whatever needs to be done. Then I'm supposed to have a break and then have a snack/lunch, unload the dishwasher and take the dogs out again, on Tuesdays and Fridays the Dog Trainer comes and we walk and train the dogs, ok mainly the lab, Anton, together. Then I prepare a snack for the kids for when they get home at about 4. Then they rest and have a snack before we start on homework. Then I set the table for dinner and help make it, on occasion. We then eat and I clear the table and then set it again for breakfast the next morning(see picture). After dinner we usually watch a little TV before the kids go to bed at about 8:15... I sometimes have the evening off to go to FHE or Institute. Tuesdays and Thursdays I have my German class from 9:15-11:45am so I have to do everything once I get back, but it's ok. The maid comes Monday, Wednesday and Friday and helps with the beds, usually, so that's nice. I usually have Saturdays and Sundays off, but sometimes am asked to help the kids with their homework that they put off till the weekend, which annoys me SO much! I also tutor a friend of the family every other Saturday for 10 euro an hour, which is nice for a little extra money. I guess that's about it. It doesn't sound like much, but it is, and it's trying a lot of the time, especially until I got the hang of it and the particulars down, things are done a certain way! :) Anyways, that's about it. Any questions?

Happy Easter!

2008-03-26T15:44:00.002+01:00

So Easter has come and gone, and my mini-vacation is coming to a close. For the last week I have had the house practically to myself, not counting the dogs... So I have been able to have free days and evenings, making sure that I walked the dogs and let them out every 4-5 hours...yeah it was a bit of a pain, but overall it was a nice week!
Easter is such an amazing time of year and there are so many wonderful feelings that come with it! I know this blog is supposed to be merely informational but I guess I just want to say how grateful I am for my Savior who is the reason for the season. :) I am grateful for the knowledge I have of Him and of his atonement which makes it possible for me to return to live with Him.
Ok, that's all for today!
HAPPY EASTER!

Walking the Dogs

2008-03-12T15:30:00.006+01:00

So, I walk the dogs...every day, even on days when the wind is blowing like crazy and it's raining... Well I went ahead and did a little video of where I go walking, the wind is blowing a little bit and I am lacking makeup but ya know, it's still fairly pretty. Enjoy! :)

Alberty's and Doris

2008-03-11T17:02:00.000+01:00

This is Karl, Silke, Doris and Laura the day that Doris left.

So, yeah, this is most of the family, us minus the dad, ok and Doris is now back in Utah, but yeah, I live with them. Crazy huh?!?

Dancin' it up in Dortmund

2008-03-11T16:56:00.002+01:00

So these are a couple of my friends at the church dance in Dortmund. Don't they look so cool?

From left to right we have: Laura, Steffi, Rudolf (Frank), and Batch.

This is a very multicultural picture; we have an American, German, Guatemalan and African. They rock!

Maserati

2008-03-11T16:52:00.003+01:00

So here is the Maserati!

Arno, the dad, got it about one and a half weeks ago and loves it! Isn't it gorgeous?!?

First Blog Ever

2008-03-11T15:28:00.000+01:00

So I was told that I need to have a blog so that y'all can come take a look and keep up to date with me and what's going on while I'm in the land of Deutsche. So here it is! This is my first time blogging so if you want to suggest things for me- PLEASE DO!!! Happy blogging! :)